My Darling
by shady66730
Summary: A songfic based on Eminem's song of the same title (My Darling). M for language and drug reference. Peeta is trying to fight his inner demons and stuff. Yeah. Favorite, follow, review, and enjoy! A one shot, too.


_So. I wrote this. c: It's Peeta fighting his inner demons. They're trying to get him to remember what the Capital did. Peeta's trying to fight it, though. So it's to Eminem's My Darling. It skips to the end of verse 1. M for language. Thanks! Sorry for some lyrics changing. Had to make them fit Peeta._

Peeta sat, twitching. Katniss was watching her husband worriedly, since he hadn't done this for a good five years. She knew that during these spells she should leave the room in case he got murderous, but she couldn't bare to leave him alone. He looked so vunerable.

Suddenly he blinked and looked at him. Katniss hand tightened around the mug of water she'd been holding and she worried it would break in her grip.

"Katniss?" he whispered. "Is that you, baby?"

Katniss knew that do to the gentleness in his voice and the use of the tender word "baby" that he'd broken free.

Katniss went to him and hugged him tight. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," he said slowly, as if unsure. "It was dark. And there was this fiery-" he broke off shuddering.

"You don't have to talk about it. It's okay."

They sat in silence for a moment, the only sound being the ticking of the clock. Finally Katniss looked at it and then at Peeta. "We should go to bed. School tomorrow for the kids. It's late, anyway."

Peeta glanced up. It was, indeed late; almost midnight. So he nodded and let himself be lead to the bedroom they shared.

Katniss went to the bathroom to change into her night clothing, but left Peeta in the bed in the clothes he'd worn that day. She doubted he was focused enough to change. So when she finished she crept into the bed. Peeta was already sleeping soundly.

Katniss knew that it was risky to sleep with him. Even be in the same room as him. At any moment he could reach over and choke her, and that would be the end of the Great Mockingjay. But she couldn't just leave him!

With conflicting emotions, she rolled over and fell asleep.

And Peeta didn't choke her. He didn't even touch her. For while Katniss thought he slept, he was simply just rolled on his side, staring at the wall. Then, as Katniss fell asleep, his eyes flicked to the mirror. To his deranged eyes, the mirror seemed to grow lips, and whispered, **"Come nearer."**

_My darling, I don't ever want you to leave me, my darling_

_You and me were meant to be together my darling_

_And if I cannot have you no one can, you're my darling_

_Cause I possess your soul, your mind, your heart and your body_

Peeta suddenly felt his skin tingle, his breath and heart quicken, and his forehead began to sweat. A cold hand closed over his heart, and then it began to get hotter and hotter. Peeta writhed and tried to scream, his skin crawling quite literally now, but he found he couldn't. His voice wouldn't work. He tried to roll over and shove Katniss to wake her, but he realized he was paralyzed. Then came the voice.

It swooped down like a falcon of death, booming painfully loud in his ears. But yet somehow he knew the voice wasn't there. It was all in his head. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the pain like he'd done before, so long ago, but he couldn't. It was like someone was screaming in his ears, but his hands were tied behind his back and he couldn't cover them.

"Peeta, **I know you're in there somewhere, come here. Talk to me, sit, here, pull up a chair. Why don't you cut your hair? Hahahahahaha. Dye it back, come on try it."**

A long time back Peeta had let his hair grow out to a shaggy length and he'd dyed it brown. It had helped him forget the past, and Katniss had had no problem with it. In fact, she liked it. That was, until their son had questioned where his blonde hair came from.

Now Peeta found he couldn't speak, but he could mentally scream. So he did. **"Ahhh, no!" **he screamed. **"Leave me the fuck alone, will you?"**

Peeta gave the voice in his head a mighty shove, trying to control his brain and body again. He could hardly think, let alone argue!

The voice protested. **"But I'm here to rebuild you."**

** "But I already killed you!"**

** "But **Peeta, **we were meant for each other. Think about your mother."**

Peeta felt his jaw tighten, and a surge of hope went through him as he discovered he could move his fingers. Then the paralyzation was back, though, and he hissed. **"Yeah. So what of her?"**

** "Think about what she did to you and your **older **brother**s.. **all them **beatings..."

**"Fuck you, motherfucker! I had you beat!"**

** "No, I was playng possum. Remember? I let you watch your little girl blossom. I gave you enough time, your soul's mine. I'm taking it back-"**

** "You fucking bitch, why?!" **Peeta mentally screamed.

**"Because I love you- look a little closer. Isn't that us on that poster? Hahahahah."** Peeta felt his eyes go to the mirror, and in horror he found what seemed like a shadow of evil covering him.

_My darling, I don't ever want you to leave me, my darling_

_You and me were meant to be together my darling_

_And if I cannot have you no one can, you're my darling_

_Cause I possess your soul, your mind, your heart and your body_

"Peeta, **listen-" **

Peeta heard his family- his old one, not Katniss and his children- calling for him. **"Peeta!"**

The voice came back. **"You hear that? They're screaming for you; I can bring your **life **back."**

Peeta protested like a child, now, as a last resort. **"But I don't want it back."**

** "Yes you do," **the voice argued.

**"No I don't."**

** "Yes, you do. You're gonna regret it later."**

** "No I won't."**

** "I'ma get **Zeke **on the phone, I'll just call your **brother!"

**"Go ahead," **Peeta sniffed in his mind, thinking of his brother Ezekiel, who had died in the same bombing that had killed the Undersee family and countless others. Peeta had been close to Zeke. He decided bluffing would be his best option. **"I already talked to **Zeke **yesterday!"**

** "Well I got him on the phone right now. "**

Another voice said, "Peet!"

Peeta faintly felt the dots connect. Zeke was dead, and so was this demon who was coming back. Peeta had killed him. So of course they could talk to each other. They were both dead. Still he decided to protest. **"You're lying."**

** "Yo, **Peet!**" **Zeke's voice said.

**"How, why now? What up, **Zeke?"

**"Check this out, **Peeta, **I gotta talk to you. I don't know, it just seems like ever since you got off your drugs you became a lot softer."**

Peeta had been on morphling for a while after the torture he'd endured from the Capital. Recently he'd been taken off it after overdosing, and now he'd been having withdrawel episodes, but had mostly been better. **"But **Zeke, **all **I was was **a bottle of **morphling **and vodka!"**

** "Well, just think about it, **Peet, **I'm here. Just hit me back and let me know what's up."**

Peeta found the strength suddenly and stood up. Katniss somehow slept through it. He smashed his fist against the mirror and screamed, a loud this time, **"Fuck this mirror!"**

** "I'm not in the mirror, I'm inside you- let me guide you."**

** "Fuck you, die you son of a bitch." **Peeta lifted the gun that Katniss and he kept on the nightstand, in case any rebel or victor hating person tried to attacked them. He put it up and pointed it to himself, not sure where he was aiming. He was too disoriented.

**"Put the gun down."**

** "Bye bye!" **Peeta said, and shot the gun.

Darkness. Then light. Peeta stood up. Katniss was gone now, and Peeta had fallen on the bed when he'd shot himself. It was morning, judging by the sun shining bright through the window. Peeta let out a deep breath. He was still alive. He voiced this out loud. **"Okay, I'm still alive."**

The voice came in again, and Peeta felt himself lose control again. He couldn't scream, as much as he wanted to. **"So am I too! You can't kill a spirit even if you tried to. Haha, you sold your soul to me, need I remind you?"**

The devil, as Peeta now was thoroughly convinced the voice was, continued. **"Remember that night you prayed to God you'd give anything to **find love**? Well, **Katniss loves **you. This is what you wanted your whole life,** Peeta, **right? Ooh!"**

Suddenly Peeta felt the world darken, like it was for the longest time after the torture. Peeta tried to scream, "No! He's winning! No! No! No!"But he found he couldn't.

Instead, one with the Devil, he chanted, **"Look at this house, look at these cars, they're so nice, woo! Oh, but you didn't know fame** **has a price too? That you're just now seeing the downside too? Lose **all** your **friends **from high school, your **life** too? Aint even sure if your kids like you? Come off **drugs **can't even sleep at night without NyQuil? Become a **morphling **addict, start a rehab ctyle. But together we can break the cycle. **Peeta?"

**"What?!" **Peeta screamed, finding a little control again.

**"No one's gonna love you like I do."**

_My darling, I don't ever want you to leave me, my darling_

_You and me were meant to be together my darling_

_And if I cannot have you no one can, you're my darling_

_Cause I possess your soul, your mind, your heart and your body_

Peeta felt everything slow. He knew the Devil was taking over. He'd failed. Now he'd kill everyone. He wouldn't be a good father and husband like he'd hoped. Because no good father and husband killed their family. He'd tried to kill Katniss before. Now he would do it again.

But then, as sudden as the voice and darkness overwhelmed him, it loosened, and then it was gone.

And then Peeta woke up.


End file.
